Parents on Social Media: A Cycle of Shame and Judgement?

Parents on Social Media: A Cycle of Shame and Judgement?

In this day and age, almost all parents on social media face judgement and shaming regularly. Read on to know what Zainab Palla thinks about this.



Have we come to a world where social media shaming is a norm? Especially when it comes to parenting in the social media age.



Few days back as I was attending my best friend’s magnificent baby shower, I was thinking of the norms and cultures of our Pakistani society. I have travelled to many places. I was also a teacher in Indonesia for some time. Though Indonesia is a Muslim country too, it’s cultures are completely different than ours.



After some thought, I came to the conclusion that no matter how different the traditions of each country are, the one thing common in all of us millennial parents on social media is – the need of “online” satisfaction. Don’t we just love to see pictures of our friend’s son’s super amazing birthday party? And then don’t we just love to bash it on other groups as to how we need to change the trend of birthday parties because it’s nothing but just a big waste of money on that huge panaflex that we’d never use again or the fondant of the cake that’s wasted? After which we arrange a similar birthday party for our child, upload pictures and in the end add a PS: those who want to bash please stay away.



I mean what have to come to. Live and let live.



A woman decides to work, leaving the baby at a daycare/preschool.What?” says the stay at home mom who day dreams of getting a job too. “How could she leave that little angel away for so long?”



A woman decides to stay at home with the baby and quit her job. “What? “says the working woman who would give anything to quit and be able to stay at home with her muffins. “She could have easily managed both. She’s too lazy.



A man decides to take leave to help his wife overcome PPD (postpartum depression). “What?” Says the jealous wifes whose husband didn’t follow suit. “It’s the wife’s job to take care of the baby. We’ve all done it too.



A man decides to work overtime to earn extra for the baby. “What?” Says the wife who’s husband got fired again.



Why can we not be happy in other people’s happiness? Why can we not support their decisions and let them live their life their way.



What satisfaction does it give us? Is it about feeling better about our self? Or does it give us self empowerment?



Let’s all begin by looking deep inside our soul. I do it too. I am guilty. And I am also aware of other people who do this with me. It’s high time we change this mindset and move forward in this fast pacing world were we are in definite need of unity and harmony.



Now the major question is “how?
How can we do that? It’s Simple.



Next time you read a post on how perfectly a person’s child behaved the entire road trip, before you drown yourself in the thoughts of wow what an angelic baby she has, remind yourself that people upload only the best of their things on social media. She will definitely not show off the poop disaster they faced during their road trip and how she had to clean the smelly car seat in the middle of the road with just one water bottle.


1 Comment
  • Samina Palla

    Awesome! So needed to be addressed. Very well written Zainab. Now write /translate this in Urdu for the other half of the population too.
    Good luck and hugs. 💕

    October 30, 2019 at 12:00 am Reply

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