Time does not heal all wounds, not of miscarriage and stillbirth. Time does bring something else. Over time you simply learn to live with the pain  and eventually you will remember the precious baby without tears catching in your throat.


October is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.


This is a topic that too many women, at least one out of  five women deals with year-round and is often kept in the shadows.


I dedicate this write up to support women who have gone through miscarriage, still-birth and infertility.

Sara have had two miscarriages, the second was twins. In the middle of those miscarriages is a beautiful boy who means the world to her, and after the second came a beautiful girl who was the meaning of her life.She still mourn them every anniversary of their due date.


She said when this mishap happened and while she and her husband were going through a loss, they found it really difficult to come out of the grief, although their families were with them and they were both grieve and console at the same time. 


What has given Sara and her husband the courage to be back to normal was the hearing from friends who had also had miscarriages and seriously it was the most meaningful support.


It helped them to feel less alone and know that they could go to those people for support or advice from someone else who had been through something similar to them.


Sara said, “You need time to grieve and you need time to heal. And you may need to forgive yourself also as chances are that you feel that there was something that you could have done to prevent this. There likely was not, but the feeling may still be there”.


Sara was so much consoled by the comfort her family and friends have to her that she said, I am really lucky to have a supportive family and friends and now I’m glad to have been able to be there for others in those same moments, so that they feel a little less lonely than I did.


Every loss of an infant is painful – whether inside or outside the womb – and it is a grief that needs to be acknowledged, and mourned, and cried over. It is important to let the tears come, and to talk with your partner, as well as any children that you may already have, about it.


No subsequent child can ever replace the baby that was lost, but they can still be a great blessing and comfort.


The cruel thing about infertility and pregnancy loss is that sometimes it  can kill hope in people. You feel like you can’t relax or get enthusiastic about anything as it may be taken away from you in a moment.


The mother’s developing bond with her unborn child, which is referred to as prenatal attachment is the the way a mother perceives the personhood and reality of her unborn child is a good predictor of distress following prenatal loss. 


As a result, the degree of distress a woman experiences following a miscarriage is incredibly unique to the person.


It is estimated that over a million pregnancies end in miscarriages or stillbirths each year.


It’s very important to provide support, education and awareness around miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth.


We need to discover ways to communicate gently and sensitively to grieving parents and anyone suffering the loss of an infant.

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